If the Menendez brothers get out of prison and they end up killing another Mom and Dad as they watch television, I am going to be so disappointed and embarrassed after publicly staking my entire reputation on them by vouching for them as being good guys who had been rehabilitated and unfairly prosecuted. 

As someone who has dedicated decades to being a loyal and close pen pal to Lyle Menendez, well before they started getting all this media attention in the past few years, I don’t appreciate Rosie O’Donnell being a Johnny-come-lately and publicly stating her love for Lyle. I have put in the real work, so get to the back of the line, slut. 

Bruce McArthur, and Colin Ireland are just a few of the serial killers I have been attracted to over the years. But me being me, of course, I find out through my correspondence with them that I am barking up the wrong tree. They are all very much gay, so none of them are even interested in me, despite me having all the classical peak fertility markers most men desire. Also, Bruce and Colin are international, and I don’t have a passport, and Jeffrey was sadly not accepted by his fellow inmates. I sometimes wonder if I wasted my best years pursuing unavailable men, but I know that I’m not the typical Stepford woman who can just settle for some ordinary guy who is classically handsome and works a regular job, and is boring. 

DETAILS:

-100% tencel fabric, so soft and luxerious and easy to care for

-washes well in the machine and doesn't shrink 

-4 garter clips on the front and back

-hidden back ykk zipper